Self Talk

‘The Most Powerful Drug used by mankind is Words !’   Rupert Kipling


So what do I mean when I refer to self talk ?

Self talk is the conversation we have with ourselves about our self .  Self talk is  based on our beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, and judgments of ourselves and the world we live it. If we are aware and have a positive sense of self, then our self talk will reflect this, however if we have a negative sense of self then this to is reflected in our self talk.  This forms the basis for our self esteem which is the overall opinion or evaluation we have of ourselves. While it is important to have a good level of self esteem it s not the whole picture. I have had clients down through the years who have had a good level of self esteem but regardless of this they felt unworthy! So a person can feel they are good at their job, popular with others, and yet they can still  feel unworthy.  This is quite common and as a result of this an individual’s thinking narrows, feelings become blocked, behaviours  can be impulsive and automatic and self care deteriorates.

Over time the individual will filter all experiences through this negative sense of self. Comfort eating in order to self soothe can become the norm and the result is health and weight related issues.  This can then activate more negative beliefs about being out of control and feeling helpless and hopeless serves to perpetuate the behaviour with food even further.

The problem with this is in many cases it is happening on an unconscious level and the only thing the individual is conscious of is overeating.

So how do we transform our self talk ?

First we need to become aware of our self talk and its origins. Sometimes we over react, infer a negative meaning about ourselves,  make assumptions or personalise experiences and this triggers a series of self destructive thoughts. You are more than your experiences, your name , your thoughts, your history, your body.

It helps to acknowledge that at this point you don’t seem to know a lot about your real self ! And that’s ok!

Self Acceptance is an invitation to stop trying to change yourself into the person you wish to be, long enough to find out who you really are ! I believe in order to become aware of the real you, you need to stop all judgements, assumptions, and criticism.

Compassion, Non Judgment, Understanding and Nurturing are the voice of the Soul.

Self acceptance teaches you that you are not who you think you are. Acceptance means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling without identifying with it. You can then explore the deeper aspects as pain and suffering are usually some form of non acceptance (resistance).  You don’t have to like the excess weight but it is helpful  to accept you have it, because its all about to change.  Not doing so results in an individual  rejecting themselves and the weight loss journey is much easier to make coming from acceptance v’s rejection. Rejection creates resistance and resistance creates blocks in energy. Blocked energy is implicated in excess weight, pain and disease in the body.

Despite the fact that you are overweight, this is not a reason to stop loving yourself. You are not a bad person because you have weight.  When you reject yourself you live  in constant fear of being rejected by others.  If this happens it reinforces your negative attitude and you believe you are right when  what is really happening is life  is actually mirroring your own experience of you through interactions with others.  This is why they say ‘don’t shoot the messenger!’

There is nothing wrong with you, it’s just you haven’t found your real self  yet !

By simply acknowledging ‘I am here’ , you have taken the first step forward to accepting the here and now and thus you no longer resist where you are at.  You may think you do not have what it takes to lose the weight, but the real you does !.

Living in fear of people treating you badly because you have weight renders you powerless. You end up people pleasing, and behaving in a way that does not serve you.  On some level you feel that is all you deserve and I am here to tell you, you do not deserve to be treated badly because you have weight.  When you are unaware , a frightened part of you is active and you become overwhelmed , anxious,  and settle for many situations that would be deemed totally unacceptable if you could connect with the real you.

The gift of awareness is a very powerful gift and it opens you up to the powerful  person you really are.

I believe food, body and weight issues arise from an unconscious refusal to accept, face, and move through your own pain. Chronic physical pain is the harshest teacher you will have. It teaches you Resistance is futile ! If pain and suffering is fully allowed it dissolves and weight loss occurs easily and naturally.

If you find yourself in a situation that makes you unhappy then you have 3 options…

  • Accept it
  • Change it
  • Remove yourself from it.


Suzanne 087 2056560